Topic: “Possible ethical issues raised by this kind of research”
How can it be improved?
Topic sentence is not clear enough / rather wordy
Supporting sentences are not detailed enough
It answers the question
Sentences have no contrast ,flow or balance between them->No connectors at all/ Very long Sentences and short sentences
REWRITTEN PARAGRAPH
Any organization that allows researchers to interview its employees can lead to several issues if not properly performed. Having that in mind, employees may complain about their boss or other peers. Or in other cases, they might feel the need to give positive responses, rather than their honest opinion. They might be fearful that the boss will know about this, and ultimately they might get fired. And as a result, the organization’s reputation may be affected. Therefore, researchers must be clear about the reasons as to why they are executing said research and use pseudonyms to keep everyone anonymous. If this is not accomplished, the effectiveness of the entire investigation is likely to be threatened.
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